The Person?

It's not me, there is a person who wants to tell you something. Everything was right. Everything was perfect, happy, and colorful. But after entering adulthood, Everything was gone in a snap of it. Where did it all go? Isn't it supposed to be forever? Or is it only becoming a memory? I was not ready for it. I didn't want responsibilities. I hate them. I was just a child with a big dream. Who wants to explore this shiny big blue world. Don't I deserve that for my own life?

I don't know what this is. One morning I started to feel empty like something is taken away from me. Just like a tin can, just a shiny colorful metal but if you open it, it's nothing there it's hollow. but it is used to be full. I don't know where it has gone and I am trying to find it. I am trying to fill it again but when I try to fill it, every time I lost myself in deep darkness. I always ask myself why it has to be me? or it is everyone? I just wanted to be happy. Is it too much to ask? I don't think so. There has to be a way to end this or it will end with me? They say "happy times come after sad times". Isn't this sad time enough? Then where is my happy time? Should I have to be in darkness without knowing its depth and what lies underneath? I wonder, what's in deep? I want to see it, But I am afraid, I won't able to go through it. Every time I decide to find the bottom, When I think I am near the bottom that's it, This is it. I am going open the bottom, But every time something pulls me back to the surface. When I turn to see what is pulling me. It's no other than my own shadow. But how can I see a shadow in darkness? This is suffocating. It's not me, There is a person that wants you to tell you something, believe me, it's not me.

Does life make sense? I don't think so, life and sense? aha.

I hope one day I will watch the moon with an empty mind,

but I didn't know hoping will be this empty.

It is just like being on a deserted Island,

Everyone passes by but no one gives a shit.

I hope someday one day it will change,

I will touch the bottom without pulling myself off.

I hope one day.

There is a person who wants to tell you something. I will love to sleep in the hallucination with hope and happiness, but on one condition when I wake up it should be a reality. This is not what I wanted, this is not what I wanted to become but sometimes I think maybe I never had a choice, to begin with. I thought I knew myself. but the empty it gets, the less I feel myself. I started to lost myself just like sand in hand, how much we try we can't hold it forever. I didn't care about other things but for me, myself was precious but as time goes by I became less and less important to me. what if I riched the bottom and there is another I room with more darkness and never-ending and the shadow that was pulling was trying to protect me from falling in darkness, where I can't return. because of my desperate and small hope that will be crushed again. growing cold doesn't make any sense now it's not happy it's not as happy as I thought I wonder growing up ever started with happiness. what should I call human behavior? I doubt.

There is a person that wants to tell you something.